Being an ambivert can sometimes confuse myself. Sometime I easily make connection with someone while other times, not. Traveling solo can be challenging especially if we don’t really know how to mingle around and make friends with stranger. So, let me share my best strategies to make new friend and how I mingled in New Zealand.
Before I traveled to New Zealand, I rarely talk to any girls unless I already know them. Usually those in my closed circle. Prior leaving for NZ, I challenged myself to say hi and start a conversation to almost any girls that I find interesting while traveling in New Zealand. Not trying to be casanova, but to challenge myself out of my comfort zone.
So there are two ways I use to start a conversation. They both applied to both guys and ladies too.
First: The power of Malaysian food.
When I stayed in hostel, sometimes I cooked Malaysian signature food, extra of course. So that, I can eat for several meals and also, I have extra to share with others. Whenever I find an interesting guys or ladies to talk to and make some connection, I will starts with usual introduction like “What’s up? How is it going?, How was your day?” And from there I slide an offer to try my food, Malaysian food. Most of the time, when I said Malaysian food, those who have been there know how good the food are. So they accepted. While some would say no, I totally understood that sharing food is not part of western culture.
That’s not a problem, just find a way to just offer them to taste it is enough. I told them sincerely that I genuinely want them to try the signature food. No means no and that’s fine.
Sometimes when I don’t cook, I just say hi and tell them that I am going to get myself some ice-cream or something nice like donut and ask if they would like to join. If they don’t want to join, then I don’t really go. Good food is better if enjoyed with someone else right?
From there I will go into deeper conversation since I’m not a fan of small talks. I will share some of my favourite conversation topic
Second: Comments on surrounding.
Depends on situation, I’ll approach a solo traveler and just say something about the surrounding. When I was in Queenstown, I usually hang out by ‘the beach’ to enjoy the sunset. If I find someone interesting to talk or I feel really bored, I will go and just say, maybe “That’s a beautiful sunset”, “I don’t think we gonna get a good sunset today”. Anything. If In cafe, “That donut/cookie looks awesome, I bet it must be good”. Just try anything that comes natural at the moment. Just don’t try so hard. They can smell it.
When I was working in a packhouse in North Island, I barely hang out with friends due to our night shift. Since our biological clock as messed up, most of us preferred to have our sleep on off day. Sometimes I explored the region, alone.
In Queenstown, my working hours were shorter around 8 hours a day. I’ll be back around 5pm at most. When I was still staying in hostel, I will hang out with fellow travelers, watching TV or we went out strolling around town. Better yet, get ourselves ice cream or Fergburger. Hell yeah.
Then I lived in a house with an English-Irish couple and another Brazilian guy. We usually chilled out and chatted all night.. Once or twice a week we will have our dinner together since all four of us are good in kitchen. Paul and Claire usually prepared us some roasted lamb with potato and Yorkshire pudding. Sebastian and I usually on BBQ for picanha or satay. Life’s good.
Sometimes when we have ideas on how to spend our weekends, we will plan with some friends, maybe went for camping or just a day trip anywhere like Skipper’s Canyon road.
